Today we’ll be looking at EXO’s Wolf, also known as explosion at the feathers and bad accessories factory. This video needs a review because I never noticed how God-awful the fashion and styling choices were back when it came out. I think I was overwhelmed by Kai’s braids. Let’s look at some of my favorite pieces. We’ll start with 10 points and see where this goes.
Style Ranking: 10 – 9 (The God of Fashion Worships You), 8 – 7 (Style Icons!), 6 – 5 (Good Try), 4 – 2 (FIRE your stylist), 1 – 0 (Let’s pretend this never happened/dying inside)
Bandanas. 90’s bandanas everywhere. (-2)
Headbands. 80’s headbands everywhere. (-2)
Fingerless Gloves. Never-really-in-fashion fingerless gloves everywhere. (-2)
And while we’re at it, why is there a bandana tied to Kris’s knee? (-1)
Braids, because, you know, that worked so great for Big Bang… (-5)
Luhan looks fabulous in these feathers and anything negative you say means you’re just jealous. (+1)
Sehun’s shirt collar looks like someone tried to get creative with discarded toilet paper rolls. (-3)
But a unicorn threw up on his hair so props need to be given. (+2)
We only got a 1 second shot of this hat in the entire MV. It’s a shame… (-1)
Is he wearing a ripped Glad trash bag over a shirt? (-2)
Is Kai wearing a championship belt? (-1)
Fact: A defenseless squirrel was killed to make this hat. (-1, +a-dead-squirrel)
So you’re wearing a turtleneck, with no sleeves. Understandable. (-1)
Tao remains flawless. (+5)
(+2) points for Xiumin’s manicure.
I don’t even want to talk about this outfit so let’s pretend that I did and move on.
No, you know what, let’s talk about this. (-4)
Porous LifeVest + tangled ropes + immaculate braids after washing ashore after some kind of boating accident + Hawaiian themed bandana = wolf?
What is this puffy thing wrapped around Baekhyun’s neck? (-0.5)
If I had a dime for every time Kai looked amazing in a ridiculous outfit… (+3)
Fun Fact: Pause this video any time Tao comes out in the background and it looks like he’s going to rip your face off in every scene. (+2)
This is a real screenshot. This actually happened. I’m not even lying! (+2)
EXO’S Wolf Fashion Analysis Total: 2.5 (and a dead squirrel)
Conclusion: FIRE these stylists!
As Iman would say…