MBLAQ is gone. Lee Joon and Cheondung have withdrawn from the lineup. The group will release one more album in November and then the members will pursue individual activities…
(One of the few photoshoots where I didn’t want to kill their stylists. The members were finally not covered in feathers, fur, flowers, neon colors, or the cheap fabric I frown upon at the local Walmart.)
My best friend made me sit down to receive this news. I was off writing notes at one o’clock in the morning (as I usually am) and she calls and demands, “I need you to sit down for me. Are you sitting? Are you positive you’re sitting? Please sit.” At this point I knew one of two things. Either, 1. Tao had swam across the ocean and was now in China with Luhan, or 2. One of my other favorite groups had disintegrated into thin air like Lady Gaga’s relevance. And sure enough! I had a thirty second silence where all I could think was…Eh, time is too slow for me baby, listen this girl. And to this day I am angry that his lyrical lines were grammatically incorrect, since Cheondung basically speaks perfect English. That was followed by:
Can I sue J.Tune for inflicting irrevocable psychological damage with their continuous shit promotion? I’ll say that it eventually caused a tumor and a K-pop related bipolar disorder. No? Okay, what if I hire the same lawyer as JYJ, Han Geng, and Kris – you think I would win? Yes, I know what you’re all thinking:
I know. I know. I will survive this. But the band had JUST gotten an official Twitter account. It’s 2014! Really J.Tune?! I should have known something was wrong when the company decided to randomly debut that new band Mad Town. They knew the apocalypse was coming and I was left totally in the dark, Googling the latest Prada collection and ruining my eyesight. I will always love the convoluted mess that was Darling (Popcorn, popcorn, p-p-p-popcorn!), the masterpiece that was Wanted 2, and all of their hilarious stints in reality TV. Especially Idol Army, which will forever be a gem.
So what will happen now? Lee Joon will continue his acting career, which really seems to be taking off recently after his serial killer role in the drama Gap-Dong. I am really happy for him and wish him great success (Please run to SidusHQ!). G.O is set to make more solo music, and I wish him good luck. Considering the utterly terrible MVs J.Tune has given him for his singles (like a video montage of photographs that was likely made in PowerPoint), I also hope he jumps ship and leaves to another company. Cheondung wants to be a producer, so I say go ask your sister if YG is hiring. I love you, keep writing ballads if it makes you happy. As for Mir, he is set to start his acting career soon and will continue getting hosting jobs – so no worries there. And now to my beautiful Seungho…I’m pretty sure he will leave the entertainment industry completely. He always wanted to be a young father so he will likely start a family. I hope I didn’t just accidentally convince fifty crazy fangirls to buy tickets to Korea. My bad, Seungho! Marry Gyuri, you guy’s are good friends. Plus, you basically already proposed to her.
Considering this year’s pattern of scandals and disasters, I feel that by the end of the year T.O.P will randomly announce he wants to give up his career and become a cow farmer, 2NE1 will move to the U.S and do a collaboration album with The Black Eyed Peas, and Lee Hi will release a song produced by Brave Brothers called I’m So Sexy, PLEASE Love Me. I just threw up a little in my mouth.
Back in April, AbsoluteMBLAQ (one of the band’s biggest fansites) shut down, and now this. Creepy intuition administrators (or inside info, who knows). Anyway, let us remember the happy moments. You will always be remembered for what you were great at…